Aftermath to Krip Hop Homo Hop

I went to the Krip Hop Homo Hop Saturday at 2 p.m., and after all that happened, Leroy wasn't able to have us speak at 3:30 p.m.-ish, like the program guide said. I started to get really fatigued. Judy Sierra left early. Gradually my acquaintances drifted away, and finally the last friend of mine was ready to leave. I had already been closing my eyes and knew I needed to leave, too. In addition to fatigue, since I've been getting bullied, I don't feel safe in public unless I'm with someone I really trust. Some time after 5 p.m., I got up and told Leroy I had to go. He apologized for not calling on us. I accepted his apology, and told him so. But in a way our advocacy work was stopped by another advocate. We weren't given the floor for five minutes to speak our message to maybe 30-50 queer disabled artists and allies.

And another thing happened at the event. Two women (who said they knew Judy Sierra) were really aggressive and rude to me. They weren't honest with me about what the problem was. I asked if they wanted to talk or share something, but they were hostile and said no. They treated me with an air of disdain and didn't try to conceal their hostility. It seemed clear that they heard something that prejudiced them in some way that they didn't want to resolve.

One of the women wore a brown and green sweater-vest with a horizontal pattern and had short, dark, wavy hair. She was neatly groomed, and was the leader of the pair. The other was blond and was wearing a peach-colored v-neck shirt with three-quarter length sleeves. The dark-haired one was a bit older, but the blond had a smooth face. They were both in wheelchairs.

In a parting shot, they laughed at my expense when someone wanted to pass behind me. Since I was facing them, they could see behind me, but I had no idea what was happening behind me. They didn't show any concern for my welfare or my space, so it was impossible to know whether I was about to be intruded upon from the rear. Suddenly when there was no space left, the blond girl spoke up, but played it like I was the social transgressor who had been rudely blocking someone, while she was the reluctant enforcer of decorum, sensitivity and social graces. As I began to move, I lost my balance, but didn't fall to the ground. They laughed in a ridiculing way over this, with the brunette being far more aggressive in her laughter. And the brunette praised the blond for her quick thinking in blaming me for the whole thing. In reality, these two ladies were blocking the door, and shouldn't have been.

This is the situation I've faced in public for two years. In public, I experience random aggression once the other person finds out who I am or what I'm doing. The random aggression often takes the form of withholding or obfuscating necessary social information, then blaming me and ridiculing me, often for not having the social information they withheld. In each case they don't acknowledge or take responsibility for their own true feelings of aggression or hostility toward me, nor do they share what has motivated them to behave the way they do. This is a primary cause of the whole problem. Sometimes what I'm doing is asking disabled dykes if they want to join a newslist so we can share information of importance to each other. But that's really rare that I'm doing that, it's maybe three or four times in my life. Most times I'm just asking someone their name, or asking what they think about an event, or I'm participating in a Jewish event, or I'm listening to music, or I'm at a dance, or I'm praying, or I'm studying, or I'm at a party. Basic stuff.

Nothing like this happened to me prior to Lenora publishing quite a few untruthful things about me after she was suspended from a Yahoogroup for lesbians. All of this bad behavior toward me in public began immediately following the Lenora situation, and it was especially prevalent in the way lesbians treated me in all shuls. Lenora isn't Jewish, so I wonder if a handful of shul lesbians capitalized on some of the libel and slander Lenora started.

Psycho Donut Shop Mocks Disability for Fun and Profit

Are economic times really so bad that we now have a donut shop whose business plan is a mashup between fatty sweets, a theme park, and a mental institution? Apparently so.

The Psycho Donut Shop opened last month, and uses "a lighthearted insane asylum theme," according to this story in the San Jose Mercury News.

Several disability groups took exception to the donut shop whose profits come from stigmatizing, stereotyping and from poking fun at folks with disabling conditions. The advocacy groups authored a letter to the editor which ran in the IndyBayTimes.

I'm trying to imagine an immature, amoral, insensitive marketing team on a sugar high who wondered what type of themed playland would draw adults and profits to their donut shop.

I'll bet this is how the brainstorm session went.

"Let's see, what would be fun for adults?"

"Well, there's always pornography."

"No good, that's what the internet is for. Besides, how would we get the chocolate off the magazines?"

"We could make it a baseball fantasy camp then."

"I really don't think so, we'd hafta sell steriods, not cinnamon buns."

"Ok, I got it. For donuts? A cop theme. It could be like the roll call room, or lockup, or something."

"Interesting. What else?"

"Well, let's see, we could make it a Haunted House. Those are popular."

"Almost, but it only works during Halloween."

"I know, let's make it a Mental Ward. It's like taking the best of the Cop idea -- with the lockup and the guards -- and mixing it with the psycho stuff from the Haunted House."

"Yeah, a Mental Ward. That's it."

"But wait, won't people be upset?"

"Look there's always people who are just too sensitive. I'll bet if we had a Lunch Lynch, or a Potato Pogram, or Internment Camp Sushi, someone would get on our case about that, too. All we're doing is having fun, being lighthearted, and showing people a good time."

"Yeah, and maybe if we just mess with the disabled, that makes it even more fun."

"Right."

"So maybe we'll offer Autistic Appetizers? HIV Hot Dogs? Quadriplegic Quesadillas?"

"Sure! But let's see how the donuts work first."

Wait, isn't this a skit on the Comedy Channel? No. This is real, and it's here in our community.

The Merc piece says the donut shop founders got the idea after playing racquetball. I didn't know anyone still played that sport. The founders appear to be stuck in the attitudes of the past.

The donut shop has gimmicks like a photo-op in a strait-jacket, a "group therapy" seating section, and even has the employees serve customers while wearing labcoats and nurses outfits. The founders also consulted with pastry chefs to form a menu which includes donut creations like Massive Brain Trauma.

This is wrong.

As one commenter on the Justice For All disability rights blog asked, "Would those of you saying that a little humor is ok feel the same way if the theme of the donut shop was one of a slave plantation?"

No, of course we wouldn't be okay with it, and we'd shut the place down.

The owners of the shop say they were just trying to have fun, but a principle of comedy is that you poke fun at the powerful, not the weak.

Disenfranchisement is not funny. Illness, suffering, and prejudice are not funny. And ignorance causes suffering. So the way you work with that through comedic themes is by satirizing those individuals and institutions responsible for social ills. The social ill isn't disability, the social ill is stigmatization. So let's target those who use prejudice, ignorance or stigmatization to disenfranchise the vulnerable and to enrich themselves.

Good comedy mocks those who cause suffering. Good comedy does not mock those who are suffering. And neither does good business.

When these business owners mock, stigmatize and poke fun at mental illness or head trauma -- and invite others to join in -- this is social oppression for fun and profit. And it's wrong.

Don't support them.

The founders need to go back to the racquetball court and re-think their entire game plan.

On Social Disability, Power, and Empowerment

I really enjoyed this YouTube video from Canada's nightly tv show "The Hour" in which interviewer Hilary Doyle spends time with Jeff Wasserman, a prosopagnosiac. Near the end of the piece with Jeff, at around the 3-minute mark, Hilary disappears and re-enters the room with a woman who resembles Hilary. Er, at least the look-alike has the same dress and hair as Hilary. The Canadian journalist wants to see if Jeff can tell them apart.

Jeff is pretty sure he has identified tv personality Hilary correctly. Turns out he hasn't.

(Hey Jeff, I watched, and I thought it was the other woman, too. She seemed more energetic or something.)

That's where it gets good. Look at the short flash of emotionality by Hilary. She can't believe Jeff has incorrectly identified the other woman as her, and after she and Jeff have spent part of the day together, and well, she's Hilary from Canadian tv, for cryin' out loud. How could he not know her? Hilary doesn't verbalize it quite this way, mind you. I'm just giving her reaction some probable lines.

Yet even show host George Stroumboulopous says to Hilary later in the studio, "Wow, you were really bustin' that guy up." No she wasn't. She wasn't reading Jeff the riot act or anything. She just gets a tad involved sure, even though tv shows can edit that sort of thing out. Personally, I valued the honesty. Kudos to everyone at The Hour.

Now let's get back to our faceblind fella. I'm sooo not done yet. I'm just getting started.

Let's consider Jeff's reaction at the three-minute mark. He's not really emotional, he's just normal, he says he "can't believe" he mixed up the two women on camera. He kinda shrugs, and laughs in that mild, low-key way of his. He doesn't seem particularly embarrassed, or ashamed, or even very apologetic. He's a well-adjusted guy, why should he react that way? And I mean, really, in all honesty, what do you want him to do. Notice my lack of a question mark there. Later he says he's learned to laugh stuff like this off.

I'm magnifying this short, wonderful human exchange on the video, in order to make a few points. First, this is the situation that's re-played constantly throughout the lives of those who are faceblind. Only folks aren't as nice or as understanding or as sensitive or as prepared as Hilary or "The Hour."

Second, you gotta amplify this by all the numerous invisible conditions that create a disability of misunderstanding. Maybe you can begin to understand what it's like to live with constant, background misunderstanding. You begin to understand that's the disability. You add up several cognitive conditions, and you've got something akin to paralysis.

Again, Hilary was cool. And getting back to faceblindness, she was prepared to be misidentified by a prosopagnosiac. But other people can feel so put off by it, and they just can't understand. You tell them and they still don't get it. They act like we have totally misplaced an entire person.

And we shrug, either physically, or more likely, attitudinally or philosophically. It's not personal. And it's not like we can do anything about it. Why don't they just accept it. We'll try again next time we meet, obviously. And maybe you could help us out a little, right? And there's always laughter.

To help the situation, to accommodate for disability, people can learn to cue us without getting all bent outta shape (not that Hilary was bent out.) You can read my tips here, but a lot of helping is common sense and old-fashioned courtesy. Just tell us the truth about who you are, silly. Give us your name, and then remind us where we know each other. Don't forget to make sure you've got my attention first. Otherwise we just stumble along until we figure out how to identify you through body language, vocal tone, hair, and other clues. That could take two hours, or 15 meetings together, or it may never happen consistently at all, depending on just how faceblind we are.

I really dig this piece by "The Hour" as a teaching moment. It's cool on a whole new level. Sure, let's educate people about prosopagnosia, and let's educate people about all the unpronounceable conditions and invisible disabilities, why not.

Now, as a world community, let's take it to the next level. This is my third point. This is social disability. So let's find ways to show people how their reaction to disability is what disables us. Their reaction is what we're always having to adjust to. Since social disability exists, recognize that there's two parts to it -- yours and mine. You play a role here. Ya gotta take some responsibility for your role in making my condition disabling. And then you can help turn it around. When you empower me, I empower you, that empowers everyone.

Reactions on the part of others can really get in the way of their learning to normalize, accept and accommodate a disability condition. Pick any invisible disability or condition, and figure folks are going to be surprised, even when prepared, even when trained. And that's a best-case scenario: education doesn't perfectly reduce a reaction of surprise, disbelief and emotion, because when fully experiencing the situation, that immersion hits you -- the more fully-abled -- in ways that aren't simply intellectual or head trippy. And in the worst case scenario, when lack of education combines with lack of common sense, bad manners, and even character flaws or poor moral development, we encounter insensitivity, prejudice, exploitation, bullying, neglect, blaming, and much, much worse.

Again, Hilary is way cool. And so is "The Hour." I really appreciated her genuine, darn honest reaction showing how folks actually respond.

So it's all good. People just have to experience me a few times before they learn to go, oh, I guess it's normal that some people have an invisible disability or an invisible condition. And then they could go, oh, I see where that's social, and I am part of society, so I can see where I play a role here. And then they'd have an "aha" moment and go, gee, I'll refrain from harming, and I might even start helping. Tapping into empowerment, you discover it's an unlimited supply.

Krip Hop, Homo Hop

Whassup, this looks like a cool event. It's called Diversifying Hip Hop: Krip Hop and Homo Hop, and I read about it in an Indybay article here. It's a day of movies, speakers and music. Two documentaries will be shown: "Halfsoulja" and "Pick Up the Mic: the Revolution of Homohop." The participants are queer, disabled, African-American, or an interesting combination thereof. I can't wait.

It's put together by Leroy Moore, founder of the Hip Hop Project, and the community relations director of Sins Invalid. This free event is taking place at UC Berkeley's Worth Ryder Gallery in Kroeber Hall, and it's sponsored by the Disability Studies Program, Dance and Performance Studies Program, and African Diaspora Studies Program. Whew, talk about multi-disciplinary.

A friend and I started a Yahoogroup for lesbians with disabilities, and so we're going to give a short talk and let people know we're out there as a resource.

INFO
What: Diversifying Hip Hop: Krip Hop and Homo Hop
Date: April 11
Time: 2 p.m. - 9 p.m.
Where: Worth Ryder Gallery, 116 Kroeber Hall
Cost: Free

Wheelchair Accessible

Is Obama's Economic Plan a Gutter Ball?

Many of you probably know President Barack Obama appeared on "The Tonight Show" this week where he promptly managed to offend the disability community by saying his bowling game "was like the Special Olympics, or something." And then -- and here's the sick part -- the line got a laugh from the studio audience.

Despite practicing on the private bowling alley below the White House, the President only rolls a 129, which is beginner ball.

So read me loud and clear: he's not good enough for the Special Olympics bowling team!

Let's face it, we want athletes who can win a medal for America. Although this President may sport some six-pack abs, he's just not in the same league as our real paralympians, who routinely break 200, and have scored a 300, which is a perfect game.

But Obama's anemic bowling game isn't what bothers me. And as hurt as I am by his slur of our people living with disabilities, even that doesn't bother me as much as what really bothers me. It's his economic game I'm worried about.

You see, while Obama was making history by becoming the first sitting president to appear on NBC's Tonight Show, his economic team was presiding over a truly earth-shaking piece of economic and political history. Here it is.

Since we're broke, and since we aren't accepting it, and since we are just printing more money, which is really a form of default, and since we're giving the money to banks and to corporations that prolly should be outta business, and since we're buying our treasuries, all of which caused the Chinese (who loaned us so much money) to issue a warning to Washington (and we were formerly the world's most powerful nation); now the world is responding by dumping the dollar as its reserve currency.

Hence, the American era is over. We can't pay for it anymore. Or should I say, the Chinese aren't gonna buy it anymore. They were the ones floating this all-American partyboat.

I'll bet you didn't know that. And do you know why?

Because not only did Obama talk economics with a comedian -- a feat which grabbed some ink of its own, but the followup press coverage centered on a fake controversy about insensitivity to paralympic bowlers, who, may I remind you, can actually kick Obama's butt all over the waxy lanes.

Do they sit around and drink coffee in order to make this stuff up?

I can imagine the scene at the White House staff room. Several young advisors are convening with iPods and Netbooks and Lattes. They represent change. One of the geeky ones speaks first.

"Mister President, dude, like, we're in real trouble. Cuz like, we're broke. And this old guy from the Fed -- his skype name is Helicopter Ben Bernanke -- well, he says we'll just print more money. So uh, mister President, dude, want me to text that to the Chinese? I'll text 'em right now: We're outta cash, so we're printing more. Or should I text 'em:
Us \ IOU $2 Tril? "

Just then a cynical advisor pipes up. "Dude, no way. Look, I agree this is economic history here. So let's do the math and then do late night tv instead. You sit down with Leno, and you talk about the economy, sure. But then you do something controversial and mildly scandalous."

"Like what?" asks the President.

"Like insult a small minority group," says the cynical advisor. "That generates internet traffic. Then the press covers the controversy, not the economy, see?"

Everyone in the conference room relaxes, and the cynical advisor continues.

"Presto, this whole demise-of-the-dollar-thing blows over. At least for a few more months. And mister President, I know just the group to insult, sir. Paralympic bowlers!"

A third, and very astute advisor agrees. "It's brilliant, because Sara Palin will fight back. And when she does, she'll defend disabled athletes, and not sound economic policy. It's the perfect McGuffin! You simply confess to a lesser sin, get it? It's not that we're broke and can't pay for the bailouts, it's just that we're insensitive to the disabled."

Gimme a break, media. Wake up and smell the burnt fortune cookies!

If I have a head injury and I can spot a McGuffin, why can't you?

True to form, today Sara Palin called Obama's comments "degrading" and said athletes living with disabilities "overcome more challenges, discrimination and adversity than most of us ever will." Palin's son Trigger has Downs Syndrome.

I never thought I'd say it, and I hate like heck to be on the side of a Republican governor, but I gotta give my grrrl some props for sticking up for us. Go Sarah, it's your birthday, go Sarah!

And I do mean that, but on the other hand, I feel used by both sides.

Of course, Obama called Special Olympics chair Tim Shriver right away to apologize for the remark. And that was pefect, because Shriver fell right in line, calling the Presidential slur a "teachable moment" for us all and even appearing on Good Morning America the next day to remind us that "words hurt."

My take: apparently it's going to be a teachable moment for Youtube bowling, or for reviewing our kindergarten manners, but not for real economic education.

More of my take: getting sidetracked on a perceived insult just makes it all the more obvious that the mainstream media don't even know who we are, or how great our athletes are, or just how much breadth and depth and diversity we've got to offer the world from our disability culture to yours. You need to get real about the economy, people. No one knows this better than we do. And no, it's not simply because we depend on social programs.

It's because in disability culture we actually face the truth of our limitations; it's where we live, and we're good at it. We can't afford to live in denial, as so many others can. If we do, we get hurt. Badly. So take a page outta that playbook, mister President. And then text it to the mainstream media, the non-disabled disability rights "spokespersons," and all the university-trained economists and their admirers dancing aboard the Titanic.

Getting back to bowling, the paralympians have their own response. They recommend practice, focus, and aim.

Maybe Obama needs a Special Olympics coach for the economy.